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BRS Resources

Here we present resources to aid your understanding of the nature of the Big Russian Soul. We acknowledge that this is somewhat paradoxical effort, seeing as you cannot understand if you don't have one and if you have one you already understand.

But it is a big paradox, and therefore worth our time.

Anekdoti (Jokes)
 
"Take my tyoscha....Please!" We are laughing so hard the kvas is coming out our noses! Please stop!
The site claims these are "adult oriented" but they're not. What they are is hilarious, like all anekdoti
 
Dead Souls
 
Oh, bury me not on the lone Taiga... at least, not without a life-sized, photorealistic tombstone. And one for my car, please.
 
Historical Souls
 
We have long suspected that non-souled states will stop at nothing to spy on big-souled individuals. Read here the tale of one spy who should have been drowned in a sack soon after birth, instead of being sent to spy on our great leader.
 
Inexplicable Soul
 
We have no comment. What comment can there be? Our souls are aghast.
 
Legislated Morality
 
As part of the ongoing effort to make 00's Moscow more like the Southern US in the 80's, Moscow "city authorities" are planning a ban on kissing in the Metro. This follows the ban on Halloween and (we presume) precedes the made-for-TV movies about the evils of Dungeons and Dragons.
 
Mayonnaise Crimes
 
Mayonnaise Terrorist This is an atypical M.C. in that it is recognizable as a crime even to those who might otherwise overlook Mayonnaise Crimes. Also, some folks might consider a mayonnaise attack on the FSB to be a good thing. Not that we know any of these people, of course. We have only respect for our kind and forgiving intelligence agency and we do not endorse smearing the FSB with mayonnaise.
 
People With Soul
 
We here at BigRussianSoul are proud co-sponsors of the current initiative to canonize Ivan the Misunderstood (slandered as "the Terrible," lo, this half-millennium).
A scurrilous reporter read our posting on the Dobby/Putin controversy and declared, "Libel law doesn't work that way." True, we are big-souled and do not understand this "parody" notion that she holds so dear. Nor do we understand her reference to a "First Amendment". Ah well, perhaps if we keep reading CNN we too will understand such subtleties. She, alas, lacks the soul to understand us.

More People With Soul...
 
Reference Materials
 
If it's good for the body, it's good for the Big Russian Soul! Birch me, baby! (Site in Russian.)
What can we say? The BRS quotient of our toilet paper is unmatched. Confronted with such BRS, Kitaiskii and kh'American paper would simply disintegrate. Thank you Annals of Improbable Research for bringing this to our attention.
 
Soul Adventures
 
Drive with verve, drive with wit, drive with soul, baby.
 
Soul Food
 
Ahhhh, sweet kholodets. Take a break from your Beeg Mak and your fries of freedom and choke down some delicious kholodets, or, as it's called in English, "Feet in Aspic." Mmmmmmm...
You can take the soul out of Russia, but you can't take the Russian out of the Soul. Feed your soul with this site, which promises you "Russian Chat, Russian Dating, Russian Cuisine..." and more.

More Soul Food...
 
Soul Mates
 
Alas. Sigh. Oy. It's an old story: Cosmonaut meets girl. Cosmonaut proposes to girl. Cosmonaut shoots into space, but tries to marry girl anyway. Girl can't get space-sosiska-propiska. No dice. Oy. Sigh. Alas.
Virginia A unique possibility to find out what Russian girls think of you, guys! Bigrussiansoul's admiration for this site is as boundless as the steppes of Kazakhstan.

More Soul Mates...
 
Soul Repression
 
Nixon brought that horrible drink "Pepsi" to Russia. We were all excited at the prospect, but when we got to taste it... ugh. It didn't mix well with anything. So now, years later, we see clearly that Pepsi leads to drugs. The police beat clubgoers for blaming Pepsi, but soon even they saw the true evil: Pepsi and Nixon, two more American imports that are bad for the soul.
What does the US Attorney have against these guys? They travel across the world to make parties for the people. They're modern kids, but as their nicknames for themselves and for their mob show, the boys remember their roots. We say the BRS is being persecuted. If you live in Pennsylvania, write your Congressman and say, "Free the BRS Ten!"
 
Soul Science
 
Why is the yellow/red snow phenomenon a mystery? It's obvious to us why some areas are receiving yellow and/or red snow. Yellow is for hot snow and red is the color of cold snow. Open your taps, people, and open your minds.
 
Soul Shopping
 
The Sovietski Collection If you don't have a Big Russian Soul, at least have a watch that does! The soulfulness radiates from this site like contamination from Chernobyl.
 
Soul Solutions
 
Bashi Don't Preach And now, a few words from our Turkmen correspondent, Jalaluddin, regarding developments in his native land.
When drug enforcement collides with farming, we say, "Let them eat pot."
 
Soul Tourism
 
Ask a Russian You've taken our test and received the bad news that your soul is only an ordinary soul, or even sub-par? !!! However, all is not lost, as the Board Certified souls at this site will answer any question, however soulless, that you might have concerning the Mother of all Motherlands.
When in Moscow, don't miss the world's largest foto-albom of Russian souls--in their natural habitat, no less. "It is a kaleidoscope of toothless peasants, posed bourgeoisie, cobblers in aprons, and stiff Soviet politicians, toasting, talking, singing and sometimes eating."

More Soul Tourism...
 
Soul Treatises
 
DANGER!! This site has more soul than even some Russians can handle. Just browsing to this site will infect you with a Big Soul virus. You'll find yourself buying pickled goods you never knew existed. Consider yourself warned: do not tread this path.
No, this isn't about Klansmen and choppy black & white film. This is about a
Dancing Soul, strong and old
Had by Russia 'lone.
See its size, big and bold.
Dig it! The Russian Soul.

More Soul Treatises...
 
Soul Trends
 
In a victory for sensible-souled individuals everywhere, the Federation Council (Live Long and Prosper) overthrew an ill-conceived ban on beer. What would our streets be without beer? We'd still have vodka, plus those little gin & tonic cans, but beer is important. As a special bonus, all beer commercials are soon to be abstract music videos featuring no people or animals! Onward, avant garde beer drinkers with soul!
Pivo Over Vodka? Vodka's losing out to beer? Shocked we are, shocked, we say again, shocked. Actually, we're not that shocked. When we have beer, we drink beer. When we have vodka, we drink vodka. We always keep plentiful supplies of both. So what's the controversy?
 
Soulless Wonders
 
Bush: Peace Duke Who can deny it? Bush is a peace duke. He's the the Peace Dad, the Peace Yeti, the Peace Doc. His knee press Shah piss the roof off. Well, that might be stretching it, but we still say to Bush: "Hoo-Yah! You do rock!"
Russia's Least Wanted A Russian newspaper has joined the Most Wanted Playing Card parody pack with a deck of Republicans. They say they "want to show our readers the various faces of the current U.S. political elite,...that (the U.S. political structure) is a complex, living organism with varied and vivid personalities." But notice they don't say, "with soul."
 
Souls in Action
 
I cannot repeat this too often: the problem is not drunkenness. Rather, the problem is a lack of parity in drunkenness. My dear Ladies and gentlemen, this sort of thing would be easily avoided if only you would match your flight crew shot for shot.
 
Souls in the News
 
Medals? We don't need no stinkin' medals! We have the Big Russian Soul! We congratulate Grisha Perelman on his accomplishment and we beg, beg this Russian genius to put his mind to this conundrum: why do foreigners think they can hope to understand our Souls?
Why do Russian men die young? It is wise to say "That which burns bright does not burn long" and what burns brighter than the BRS of the Russian Man?

More Souls in the News...
 
Tainted Souls
 
Keep an eye on this website, RusUSA, a large collection of resources and "The Place of fun and entertainment of Russian America!" And by "keep an eye on," we mean monitor this website. Geared as it is toward those brave defenders of the BRS who live in the USA, the authors have a special responsibility to portray the BRS appropriately. [Note: If you have trouble reading it in Russian, this page translates itself for you if you click the "English" link at the top.]
 
The Souless Encounter the Souled
 
A poor, deprived Westerner travels to Kamchatka to brave the peaks and crevasses of land of the BRS. He survives, and perhaps wears a glimmer of reflective soul as his reward. But--and we are posting this resource to illustrate this point--he still has no soul.
You see, the Russian does not just drink for the sake of pondering imponderable silvery-birched thoughts. Also he drinks to extract state secrets from his enemies. A supplement sometimes helps in this endeavor.
 

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